"...and also w/ you." This a nod to both the coolest movie double trilogy/saga, AND my Protestant upbringing.

Yup, I've got Star Wars on the brain. In going along w/ the fever that is sweeping through the "nerd" communities (& I mean nerd in the most positive way, b/c some of my friends & many times myself, fit into that category), I already have my advance tickets to the midnight showing of Episode III. I can hardly wait! My good guy friend & I are going to go...I wanted to go w/ someone who's as geeked out about it as I am. Plus, he & I saw the 1st one together (technically--it was during college & we're there w/in a group of 50+) & then saw the 2nd one together w/ a mutual friend too. So, it's like a tradition, now. I've even been contemplating making myself a "Mrs. Skywalker" shirt. (oh, for Luke, not Anakin) Anyway...

As part of the Star Wars fever, I submitted a "memory" to the local paper for a story series they're running beginning May 9th & they chose mine as one of the featured. PLUS, yesterday I gave in & bought a bag of "Dark Side" M&Ms (dark chocolate peanut, YUM!)

So...that's my current Star Wars obsession. What about the rest of you? Anyone else waiting w/ bated breath for the last installment? Or, do you not like Star Wars (though I don't understand that view, but anyway...) Or, are you just neutral? Lemme know!

...Pour me another shot of whiskey, bartender hit me one more time!

This is one of my fave karoke songs, by Tricky Pony. Haven't been for a couple weeks. And, I don't get to go as often as I'd like. Where I live, the people I generally hang out w/, well, they're not big karokers (sp?--is that even a word? anyway...) My ex, T, is though, and me, he, & my friend C (tee hee, that rhymed) went karoking the Saturday b4 my Bday this year. I need to find a new crowd to karoke w/. Particularly since there are new men entering my life, in a dating way, that I think hanging out w/ my ex too much might cloud my vision/opinion. I want to give these guys a fair chance.

So far I've gone on 1 official date w/ the one & the other one I've hung out w/ at a party. They're both set-ups thru friends. They're both nice guys too. I'm just not sure where I'm at, inside, related to relationship stuff. Am I ready for one right now? Do I have more work to do on me? And, who's to say that a relationship will develop from these dates, eh? I always seem to get ahead of myself.

Well, anyway...I have to go home & prep my vcr & tape for ER & then head to the gym. TOTAL pigout day at work today & I'd like to be able to breathe in the damn bridesmaid dress. ;o)P

I'm listening to their album, Films About Ghosts, the Best of...right now, winding up my work day. Think I'll share some of my favorite lyrics right now, from "Round Here".

"Round Here"
...Round here we're carving out our names
Round here we all look the same
Round here we talk just like lions
But we sacrifice like lambs
Round here she's slipping through my hands...

I THINK I've got a poem brewing in me, sorta, I'm going to type it right now...

Quietly, I slip out of bed
careful not to disturb him
He always was a light sleeper
a light thinker, a light feeler
the depths of my emotions too much
for him sometimes
and, for me
and yet while I burned and ached for him
inside and out
he claimed to be unsure of my love
try as I may, I never could convince him
and now, looking back at it all
I shouldn't have to convince him, should I?
it just seems silly or off or something
can't he just feel what I feel?
apparently not
after all, he did tell me
"I'm not a mind reader, dear"
So, I pace around his house
wondering what to do
with myself
with him
with us

Well, ok. So, I work for a non-profit organization (Big Brothers Big Sisters) & it's currently FUNDRAISING time for us. Our biggest fundraiser is bowling related (Bowl for Kids Sake) & I agreed to be on a bowling team & go out & raise money. So, I set up a thing through Kintera to collect online donations. If anyone is interested in supporting BBBS & my fundraising efforts, then please click on my Kintera link & donate. Even $5 helps! When you click on the link it will take you to an outside BBBS/Kintera page. My name is Amy K. I'm the only one who'll pop up in your search, in Nebraska. THANK YOU ALL WHO DONATE!!

http://bfks2005.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&" title="http://bfks2005.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&" target="_blank"http://bfks2005.kintera.org/f...;i=89716&u=89716-

My coworker & I are listening to my Pearl Jam Greatest Hits Dbl cd right now. Ah, Eddie Vedder. Such funny jr high/high school memories. A time when life was simpler, though I may not have thought so then...

In talking to my friend K, yesterday, she commented--why is everyone's lives in upheaval? And, it's true...seemingly. K is getting married, trying to work on her PhD & teach college kids (such neuroses, on both sides). Our friend E, didn't get into grad school & now has to completely re-evalua te what she's doing w/ herself, since she's pretty much decided she doesn't like her current career path. Our other friend, C, needs to find a new job, b/c her current teaching gig, well, they're big fact jerkfaces. Not only that, but then she'll have to move & sell her house & that's no fun. My friend, L, looks like she's facing major upheaval at work w/ new hirings that much be made (she works for a paper & they now need a new editor) & they're moving to a new house (in the same town) this wknd. I'm having roommate & moving & money issues, not to mention that I want to go back to school but haven't had any room for that to be focused on yet. And, I just found out yesterday that our friend N, has lupus. Scary. What's going ON? Is all this junk just part of "growing up"? B/c man, it just gets suckier every year!!! I want a recount. Something. Blagh.

Got to work today & there's this godawful stank in the kitchen, as I'm putting away my lunch. Now, we're not a big company, but we still manage to creat a lot of garbage--it's overflowing by the time Thursday gets here each week. Anyway...I figure it's something old & nasty in the fridge, so I clean it out. Throwing away old or suspect food. My co-worker, K, takes out the trash. Light 2 candles, plug in a Bath & Body works smelly thing for good measure.

Lunchtime--it STILL smells. My other co-worker comes in, sniffs, says it smells like DEAD MOUSE. Yup, somewhere in the far recesses of our kitchen, a poor little smelly rodent has perished. YUCK!! Any ideas on how long the smell will last (as we don't know where exactly said mouse is & therefore can't get to it to toss it out)

The damn dress fits after all! Yup, I went home to see the folks this wknd & try the damn thing on again. Well, apparently I need to get a personal attendant or something. I couldn't get it to zip up the 1st time I tried it on because I'm not freakish & don't have triple-jointed shoulders. So, it fits. Like a corset, but it fits. Praise the Lord!!!

Ugh, this thing is being SO slow again. Any ideas WHY that might be? Hope everyone is having a good wknd. More updates on mine tomorrow!!

This is a line from one of my fave BNL (Barenaked Ladies for all you non-obsessed) songs, Blame It On Me. The song always makes me think...particularly about my ex, T.

I've been thinking lately about music & what an impact it has, on me at least. Certain songs can make me think of people or places or times in my life. It's kinda like one big soundtrack that never ends, just changes. Ex: Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Cranberries & other "alternative" music from the early 90s makes me think of jr high/high school (yes, I know, I'm dating myself). Certain country songs from the early 90s make me think of my friend K, from jr high (whom my mom thought was a bad influence, &, she kinda was). TONS of songs make me think of different ex-boyfriends, esp T. In fact, in an attempt to force myself to get over him & the demise of our relationship, I made myself 2 mixed tapes (yeah, I still do tapes--my car's only got a tape deck) w/ songs on there that make/made me think of him. My rationale was that as soon as I could listen to those songs & NOT feel a pang of sadness (large or small) or the burn of anger, I would finally truly be on my way to being over him. And, it worked. I now can listen to Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl or Hootie's I Go Blind w/o feeling sad. And, for you possible naysayers (you know who you are) out there, this was BEFORE T & I started talking again at the beginning of 2005.

For a bit of a backstory--T & I met in college & were friends for 7 years b4 we started dating. When we started dating, we were living 2 hrs apart, but I was in the process of looking for a new job here (he lives in this city). AFTER I had made that decision to try to find new gainful employment & thereby move, is when we altered our relationship. However, the distance ended up being too much & a lack of communication, complicated by other matters & we broke up after about a yr or so. I moved here after we'd been dating for 9 mos & then things just got ucky between us. But, we'd been friends for so long...I missed my friend. So, now we're hanging out again every once & awhile & talk sometimes too. Not like b4, but getting back there will probably take awhile, IF it's even possible.

Anyway...wow, from music to my ex. Hmm...makes sense to me though...music is such a big part of my life (that's why I was a music major) & it's also a big part of his life (our cd collections are HUGE).

This was asked by one of the city council members (who's sadly now the mayor) of the town where I used to live. He was asking a member of the town's burgeoning Latino population. Yup, a real winner, now Mr. Mayor.

Anyway...apparently I speak good American.

This is from a site called Blogthings & it asked what kind of American English do you speak? So I decided to find out. Hmmm.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

;http://www.blogthings.com/ame...">What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

When I was little, I used to finish that old nursery rhyme w/ "My Daddy is snoring". Yup, I was an ornery little shit. ;-D

Anyway...have been feeling a lot of nostalgia lately. Not sure if it was brought on by my bday & turning a year older or what, but...there it is. Like, today, I'm listening to my Madonna Ray of Light cd--make me think of college & a certain aquaintance who showed most of the HC theatre department his pole dancing skills. R was SUCH a Madonna fan. He was beside himself when the new album came out my sophomore year of college.

Also part of my nostalgia is the lilacs. Yup, they are in FULL bloom all over the city--quite a lot of purple mixed in w/ the green. It's so pretty. Makes me want to pull over when I'm driving & just shove my face into the bushes so I can take great big gulping sniffs of that lovely lilac scent. We had a lilac bush in between our house & the neighbor's when I was really little. I LOVE them. 

I also find myself wanting to dress younger, but yet look older. (I know, a weird dichotomy--hopefully I'm using that word right) And, let me tell you, it is NO fun NOT being carded to go out & drink. Phooey.

Anyway...as I leave you for the day, I'm going to share some of the words of the ever-changing Madge...

NOTHING REALLY MATTERS
When I was very young / Nothing really mattered to me / But making myself happy / I was the only one / Now that I am grown / Everything's changed / I'll never be the same / Because of you / Nothing really matters / Love is all we need / Everything I give you / All comes back to me...

Yup, I went to the dentist today. Not as bad as the last time I went, but still not very pleasant. I'm not a big fan of the process--but, I guess it's a necessary evil. *sigh* Every time I go, though, I think of the song from the Little Shop of Horrors. Fun stuff.

Well, it's official. Bernard (I think) the sixteenth has been chosen as the next pope. Whoopty doo. And, what exactly is THAT about--choosing some new name, different from your own?  Why can't he just be Pope Ratzinger? Hmmm...anyway. Yeah, I'm not sure I'm excited by that, Ratzinger being chosen at Pope, but again, as an outsider to the Catholic Church, I'm offering an outsider's opinion.

There's a blog on this server, Conservative Pundit, is the title, and his entry today talked about the pope & religious Dogma. He says,

"Of course, on the issue of homosexuality and women as priests, there can be no reform. Why? Because Cardinal Ratzinger's positions on both are in complete agreement with church doctrine, as described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
What does this mean?
Dogma is Christian Truth handed down by the Holy Spirit to the magisterium, or teaching body, of the church. Since it is handed down by the Holy Spirit, since it is truth, it CANNOT BE CHANGED. This means that as much as activist groups in America and Europe want to wail about Ratzinger's positions on homosexuals and women priests, it will be to no avail, for these positions are not Ratzinger's, or Pope JPII's, but God's. That is what dogma means."

I'm not sure I agree, specifically w/ his statement that the Holy Spirit hands down "the truth"--I mean, the Bible was written by men, as an interpretation of what was happening during Jesus' time & so therefore, how can it be complete truth, as many people would want you to believe? And, as far as the women issue--that was a whole other time on earth, literally, and women were treated differently, many times as property. But, times have changed & well, so sue me if I think the Catholic Church needs to catch up.

It's funny to me that I have such strong feelings on something that I really probably don't know too much about. Funnier yet that I've dated so much Catholics. My last guy, in particular, was a very active Catholic (Catholic school & everything, up till college) & it's a big part of his life. We got into a fight one night about Catholicism & religion/beliefs, etc. As far as being a worthy/worthwhile fight, it was good, I felt I learned a lot. It kinda freaked him out b/c he thought I was going to end up breaking up w/ him b/c of his Catholicism. However, we ended up ending b/c we couldn't communication, after awhile. (well, that's my take on it at least--we're finally starting to be friends again).

Anyway...I'm not so excited by Ratzinger, but I guess we'll just have to see. What's any one else's thoughts? Esp you Catholics out there...lemme know, post a comment!

Not much going on today--I typically find that the day after my birthday is kinda a let down. The only thing that I'm really excited about is that there are new episodes of Gilmore Girls and OTH on tonight. Yay!

I thought I'd take a page out of my friend M's, book today, & kinda copy this from Carla's blog (http://supercarla.tblog.com)

MAN, my computer and/or this site is super super slow today! Argh! Anyway...

Four Vacations You've Taken:
1. Ireland--trip for interim for college.
2. California--visit E for a wk of FUN!
3. Florida--band trip in high school.
4. Iowa--countless times for family

Four songs that get stuck in your head frequently: (no particular order)
1. Breathe (2AM): Anna Nalick
2. Drop it like it's hot: Snoop
3. Brian Wilson:  BNL
4. Why Georgia: John Mayer (my celebrity husband)

Four Things You'd Like To Learn:
1. Spanish, better
2. rock climbing
3. home repair/remodeling
4. how to truly design a website

Four Beverages You Drink Frequently
1. water (w/ or w/o lemon)
2. diet coke
3. orange joice
4. bud light

Four TV Shows That Were On When You Were A Kid
1. Cosby Show
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
3. Dukes of Hazard
4. Murphy Brown

Four Things To do When You're Bored:
1. Read
2. go to the gym
3.TV
4. sleep

Four things that never fail to cheer you up:
1. phone call from a friend
2. sleep
3. perfect weather
4. gilmore girls

Hopefully someday I'll be able to figure out how to put a separate list of links to websites (such as Harry Potter related stuff & my coolio Alma Mater), and put the list on the RIGHT side of my page (anyone have any simple how-tos, let me know) However, today I added a link to a new blog I just found. I'm not sure who this blogger chick is, I just was looking through blogs through tblog & found it & really liked her words. So...check it out if you're in the mood for some poetry. The other 2 blogs I have linked to are a) my friend M (Textual Posting) & b) my coolio co-worker/friend K.

And yeah, I say the word coolio quite a bit. But it's not a nod to the crazy haired rapper, just a more fun way to say 'cool'.

TGIF!!!!

My car works again. It was the battery...apparently the old thing had been chugging along since right after I graduated from HC (class of '00), so apparently it was due to die. Now, I have a NEW battery & it's all happy. Kimmie is happy, I am happy, & it's FRIDAY!!!! And my parents helped me out (Dad & bro put battery in & MOm bought battery--yes, I'm kinda spoiled at times, but at least I know it & appreciate it) so that's good too. *whew!*

Comment. I'm not sure who all or how many of you out there that I've told about this (besides M & A) are checking on my blog or reading it on a semi-regular basis, but feel free to comment. If you don't like the color scheme. If you disagree w/ what I said. If you think I'm a little silly/crazy (the shoe thing was weird, I know). If you just want to say hi--whatever. Just hit the comments link & type stuff in. And, delete the thing that says newbie & put some name in there that lets me know who you are (doesn't have to be yours, just something I'll recognize, like Superhero, or Wondrous, or Woommie, or She-Ra, Pastel Princess of Power, or Missouri, whatever). Hopefully you're all reading b/c I KNOW I'm fascinating & you're just dying to know what I'll type next, so...;-D

Gimme some feedback!

Well, I briefly considered changing my font for this post, but decided not to.

The sun finally came back out today & my coworker, K, has returned from her trip of fun in the sun. It's nice to have her back. Having the office to myself is not as nice as say, having my apt to myself.

My roommate, who says she doesn't want to move back home w/ her parents, has been incognito, MIA, since I returned from AFA. She cleaned the apt while I was gone, but then hasn't been back. This is b/c she is most likely staying at her folks house. Which I don't quite get, but oh well. I mean, I love my 'rents & all, but I much prefer living "on my own" & not w/ them & all that. I think we get along SO much better when we're not under the same roof. Really, what's the point of moving out if you're just going to go sleep there all the time? However, I'm glad she did move out, b/c I wouldn't have been able to afford living by myself.

Yeah, so far no leads on a new roommate, or a new apt, or what will happen at the end of May. I don't know what my roommate is for sure doing when that time comes either. *sigh*

However, at least the sun is out. Yup, the rain has finally stopped & the sun has returned. And, temps in the low 60s today--the perfect spring day!

It's the 3rd day of raining here in my normally fair city. Not, that I necessarily MIND the rain, but pretty soon we're not ever going to dry out.

Thought I'd write about something very random, literally--shoes. Now, before you think I'm completely nuts, I'll explain. I see shoes everywhere. Abandoned. Yup, lying in the middle of the street, sitting in the grass along the street, in parking lots, etc. They're always old & worn out looking, & they're always black shoes (who knows what that's about). Today on my way to work was the weirdest. Instead of one lone, lonely shoe lying in the middle of the road, I glanced up & there were two shoes, looped over a power line. Yup, their laces had been tied together & then they were apparently tossed up, landing on the line.

Don't people realize their shoes are gone? That they are suddenly, one shoe short of a pair? Why do these shoes end up in the middle of the street? It always makes me wonder what happened to have the shoe end up there...and yes, I know I have an over-active imagination.

Anyway...does this happen in other cities? I never noticed it in the town I used to live in, nor in the town I grew up in either. But, it happens here. What gives? Any ideas? Feel free to comment about your own random shoe experiences or sightings.

Yeah, not a very interesting title for such an interesting topic, but oh well. I figured rather than try to be clever, I'd just get right down to it. Besides, subtlety has never been a Fine Art I've practiced.

Anyway...I wanted to write about something that's been on my mind for the past wk or so. I'm really fascinated by this whole Pope thing. Now, those of you out there who are Catholics, please don't be offended by my presumed glibbness. I was never raised Catholic (but I dated a whole lot of guys who are), but instead was raised a Protestant. A specific branch of Protestant that was a direct offshoot of the Catholic church & many times seems to be somewhat similar, but...that's sorta besides the point.

Church & my faith was never really a big thing w/ me when I was younger. I didn't like sitting thru services (it was a struggle to stay interested & then later, a struggle to stay awake). But, I LOVED church choir. Mostly for the singing--I really only felt moved during the annual HUGE church choir festival, Sounds Like Love, held in a 'burb of the Twin Cities.

As I got into college, my faith felt more tested (esp the whole concept of "things happen for a reason") --I wasn't very comfortable w/ the idea of a God who allowed so much pain (focusing mostly on my pain, which yes, is selfish). Anyway...to circle back to the topic at hand...

While I'm not Catholic, I've been keeping tabs on all the proceedings, to an extent. I can't say that I understand the whole "holiest man on earth" bit, but again, not raised Catholic, so I might not ever "get" or agree w/ that concept. However, I do believe he's most probably the most influential religious leader on this planet. The burdens and responsibilities encompassed in that office, not to mention the influence to be weilded. While talking w/ my Dad the other day, he said he remembered thinking at the time of John Paul II's selection, that it was VERY interesting that a Pole had been chosen, in light of the conflict w/ USSR & Poland & Cold War, Iron Curtain, etc. A political and spiritual choice at the same time perhaps. In looking (briefly) over the candidates (which Dan Brown's Angels & Demons called the prefirtiri) (sp?), I'd personally like to see the Muslim convert to the faith, which would be a big step on many levels for the Church. But, again, that's just liberal ol' me talking, and perhaps others actually of the Catholic faith may not agree.

So, to wrap this up, I'll be very interested to see what comes out of conclave, beginning on the "coolest day of the year". Maybe I will take that day off of work afterall--watch the news all day. Sleep in, etc.

Yup, I'm sorta/mostly quoting that old Bangles song from my youth--I'm just not sure it's a "Manic Monday" yet, that's all. But, it IS Monday, & I'm cranky. Feeling bad for those around me (good thing my co-worker/office mate is on vacation till Wed) who have to put w/ cranky me.

I was just complaining to my friend, C, last night, that so far April has been kinda sucky & that really torks (or is it torques?) me off b/c it's my bday month & it's not supposed to be shitty, it's supposed to be the one month that is GREAT! Well, I guess not for 2005.

I'm uberstressed about my roommate/apt situation, which ties in w/ the money issues I always worry about (when you work in non-profit, you feel warm & fuzzy about your work, but not your bank account). To top it off, I have to lose about 20 pounds between now & the end of May to fit into this damn bridesmaid dress (strapless, to add insult to injury!) for a wedding. Now, don't get me wrong--I'm thrilled to be part of the wedding & love my friend & really get along well w/ the husband to be, I just hate this damn dress. The only redeeming thing about it is the color (a deep red that will actually be ok w/ my pasty skin, since I refuse to tan). My friend E worked very hard to console me this wknd, telling me that in her past dealings w/ this particular dressmaker/brand (not sure if I can name it here, but I'd be glad to tell you if you email) related to size & size consistency (i.e., 3 size 12s will all be different sizes from each other, which is ridic!) She also gave me diet/exercise tips. Hopefully I can kick start stuff here & lose, lose, lose. Any one else have any suggestions, let me know.

Ok, well, I should get to work, since that's where I'm at. Blagh.

PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! Yup, that's right, I am panicked (sp?). But, it's not what you think. I'm panicked b/c all the sudden my roommate dropped a bomb last night that she most likely has to move home this summer b/c she's taking a diffrent job from June-August & won't be able to afford to NOT live w/ her folks. Meaning, I have from now till the end of May to a) find a new roommate b) find a new apt & c) pack & move. This is NOT good timing.

Aprial & May are busy times at work--wrapping up the end of the school year, doing paperwork & scheduling stuff for NEXT school year. Not to mention our biggest fundraiser, pretty much our MAIN fundraiser is two wknds in May. AND my wondrous friend, K is getting married at the end of May & I'm a bridesmaid, meaning I have extra responsibilities besides the typical dress-up, buy a gift, show up & have fun, etc.

So, if any of you out there are reading this & know of someone in my town/city who needs a roommate, please please PLEASE let me know!!!!!

Well, since I'm very much the stereotypical attention loving Aries, I thought I'd put my annual warning on my blog.

Annual warning?

Yes, every year, when April 1st hits, I send out an email to all my friends "It's April, you knoew what that means, my BIRTHDAY is in x-amount of days!"

Well, this year I was out of state on the 1st & so didn't get to send my email. And, as it's now the 6th, I'm VERY behind. So, for those of you who know what DAY it is, I'll just remind you--IT'S VERY SOON. I'll soon be singing "Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Birthday to ME!". Cards & well wishes are always welcome. Just remember, I'm turning "25" this year. Haha.

Well, I'm back from AFA Nationals. Was a pretty fun wknd, but the reward for judging has already been spent (mmmm, new shoes! & a new alarm clock). *sigh* As a neat side benefit, there were a LOT of people there from my college days--some are currently speech coaches or assistants at college somewhere & many others came b/c they were speechies in college & lived close enough to were Nationals was held to come & judge. But, now my wknd is officially over & I'm back at work.

Not too excited to be here today, but that's mostly b/c I haven't recovered--sleepwise from my long wknd. But, it's nice b/c it's good to see my coworkers again & I really do have a lot to do this month & next at work.

For those of you who don't know, I work at a non-profit agency that serves children in the Midwest. I really enjoy my job, get along well w/ my coworkers & boss, etc etc. However, what I don't like about my job is people--human nature can sometimes suck, leading to much unhappiness & big stress for me. GAH! Oh well, you can't change it, just gotta try to work w/ it or around it.